Story
Critiques
View | Sender | Date | Words |
---|
No Critique submitted yet
The Backpack
Jessie woke up late. She knew it was late because she could hear her mom doing the dishes and singing along to Oldie Goldie’s from the 70s on the radio. Mom only did that after breakfast and writing her column for the, The Daily Sun – she was very organized. Jessie wasn’t organized. Mom was always telling her she should be more like her bratty little brother Sam who kept all his toys neatly packed up in the toy chest. What’s the point in having toys if you have to keep them packed up all the time?
Jessie grinned to herself as she washed up and brushed her teeth in the small and only bathroom in their 2 bedroom apartment. Today was special. Today she would clean her room and do everything mom wanted just so she could have a sleepover at Daisy’s house. Daisy was Jessie’s best friend since playgroup and she lived one floor below. This was the first time their mom’s had agreed to a sleepover. And about time! 9 was way too old for a first-ever sleepover.
It wasn’t easy keeping up her end of the deal. Jessie had promised to clean out her side of the room she shared with Sam and help her mom in the kitchen. But Daisy wouldn’t talk to her the whole summer if she messed up the sleepover. So she kept her cool even when Sam annoyingly kept giving her instructions on how to stack the dishes in the dish washer.
Finally! 6 o’clock! She checked her backpack, her new “Frozen” sleeping bag, kissed her mom goodnight and even managed to wave and smile at Sam. She was running down the stairs to Daisy’s (the elevator took too long and she was too excited to wait) when she noticed Tommy’s dad near the fire escape. Tommy lived next to Daisy and he never talked much about his Dad. He had a hand on the door handle and a weird expression on his face like he was going to cry.
“Are you ok?”
“Go away Daisy.”
“I can’t, you’re in my way!” she informed him cheerfully.
He pushed the door open and made way for her to pass.
“No way! I can’t go to my sleepover now! You have to tell me why you’re sad.”
“I’m not sad. I’m angry.”
“You don’t look angry. You look sad. Mom says sad people sometimes get angry and do bad stuff. You should smile and then you’ll stop being sad.”
He kept looking at her and she thought he might be angry because grownups got angry if you tried to tell them what to do. She didn’t like it when people got angry. Her mom got angry a lot but she still smiled after a hug so Jessie thought Tommy’s dad could use a hug too.
He must have liked it because he kept looking at her sadly but he stepped away from the door. But she was surprised when he suddenly shook off his backpack and dumped it at her feet before running down the stairs. She took it with her to Daisy’s house and after she and Daisy had gotten over the girly screaming Jessie gave the backpack to Daisy’s mom.
She couldn’t remember much after that because of all the panic and so many people coming and going (including her parents). It was only after she had told her story to the police and all her neighbors that her Dad finally told her. Jessie’s parents always told her the truth. They said it was always better than making up stories and that kids these days could handle everything.
The backpack had a gun. Just a gun. And lots of bullets.
Please do not type in your critiques here. This space is only meant for general comments and discussions